MyCleanPC.com - Buyer Beware

Here's an edited version of the commercial with a humorous end, but the only bit I could come up with on short notice:



Now this has been around for a few years, and that tells me that someone's making a heap-load of money because it's become even more prevalent on television in the past few months. Or maybe I'm watching more late-night television.


More Than 3 Seconds

So aside from the spokesman looking and sounding like he's nursing a nasty cold (purposeful? virus?), the line that always bugs me is "Does it take more than three seconds for your email to load?"

What exactly does that mean?

• Should I be clocking Outlook to see if the program opens in 3 seconds?
• Should I be clocking the email load once Outlook opens?
• Should I be clocking how long it takes to complete a send/receive request?
• Is it how long it takes my browser to open in the process of checking online email?
• Maybe the length of time it takes to bring up Gmail?
• Does typing time count?
• What's a jiffy?!
• I'm so confused!

That's just my off-the-cuff process. Many people watch that commercial and respond "Yeah, slow email: bad."

And then they've got you.

But here's a tip: the whole thing is meant to be vague, indirect, and misleading, especially to people who find computers to be a little complicated and confusing.


What's the Harm?

You're going to go to their website and you'll see the giant green button and the word FREE all over the place and OMG you computer's so slow *click* and you're downloading and installing the executable file which will scan your registry. And it will tell you that you have registry errors. Want to fix them?

Oh, that's easy. We just have to discuss the little issue of purchasing the activation for the software so it can fix your computer.

Ah, but you're savvy, so you looked ...all over ...two links? Why won't they tell me how much it is before I scan and then have to buy it?

Exactly.

MyCleanPC.com is shilling for a program called CyberDefender. I don't care if it's the best dang registry scanner in the fracking world: The deliberate misdirection and manipulation of people who very simply may not know better is a SHADY practice and something to be abhorred.

Feel free to contact them to let them know they're shady.


But What Can I DO?

I know. I understand. Your computer is still slow and the most obvious solution on the teevee is actually a potentially dangerous bogeyman. Why not take a look at my post on The FREE Way to Clean & Protect Your Computer. It is completely legit: It highlights truly free programs that I have found work quite well and I get absolutely nothing for telling you about them. This is about making you a more savvy consumer.


That's one down. What scams or shady practices have you run into recently or in the past? Hit me in the comments and don't be afraid of the sidebar - I'm always available in a variety of ways and happy to take the time to chat about your thoughts or questions.


P.S. Depending on the branch of science, jiffy has several definitions as a length of time.

The FREE Way to Clean & Protect Your Computer

I recently got an emergency email from a friend of mine saying her 9-year old daughter was having issues with some non-age-appropriate pop-ups. I was happy to help her, and it reminded me of those "Make Your Computer Faster" commercials where they'll "scan" your computer and then suggest you purchase their cleaning program.

You don't need to subscribe to a service or buy software to clean your system. You can do it youself - for free! Here's an overview.

The Problem

Every time you visit a website, every image you see on your screen is actually stored on your computer in a temporary file. It's referred to as a cache by the browser. When connection speeds were slower, this helped everyone: the browser checked if the referenced file was already living on your system and the server didn't have to download it and you saw web pages faster because the bigger graphics were already there.

But today, when speeds are much higher and good developers optimize graphics, it's not so much an issue. But the storage still happens. And with a higher rate of speed comes a higher rate of browsing - and much more sitting, stale, on your hard drive.

Along with graphics comes Cookies. A Cookie is when you go to website - say a weather website - and they put a little bit of information on your system. In this case, your zip code. So when you visit that weather website again, you don't have to enter your zip again; it reads it off the cookie and you see your town without ever thinking about it. Multiply that times a million.


The Danger

Whether it's a nasty bug or a full-on virus, if you are on the internet, your are vulnerable. Programs and clips of programs piggyback on everything you can possibly download. And it can shut down your system or act as a "zombie," waiting an activation code to attack anything from YouTube to a government computer, depending on what the writer intended.

Some viruses only exist to propagate and gum up the system. I actually had one of these 2 years ago and it not only slowed my system to a crawl, but crippled almost all my anti-virus and anti-malware programs, as well as shutting down the installation of new anti- programs.


So whether it's cleaning your system or killing viruses, here's what you need to do.


Your Browser

First off, everyone who is using Internet Explorer needs to be using Firefox. Go to their website and download it for free (will open in a new window - do it NOW). IE is more susceptible to these issues. Period.

Once Firefox is installed, go to Tools > Options > Privacy and make sure Clear History when Firefox Closes is checked. Click the Settings... button next to it and make sure it clears everything. Then, every time you close your browser, you're getting rid of junk.


The Shield

And here's where I tell you to download the cleaning software. Don't worry; it's all free (save 1 optional). And you don't need ALL of them. Try the first couple and if you still have issues, keep going. Click on the name to go to that site - all open in a different window.

CCleaner - cleans out the temporary files and cookies cached on your system. It scans your registry. You should run this at the end of every day.

Window Washer - This does what CCleaner does, but a little more thoroughly. It's my personal fav and the only program you would have to buy that I'm listing. It can erase data with an overwrite standard of the NSA. I like it; you don't have to buy it. CCleaner does what 99% of you need to do.

Malwarebytes - scans for some of the more dangerous items, called "malware" that can be part of downloads and might be programmed to do your computer some damage. If your computer has them, it'll root them out.

Ad-Aware - Classic standby to keep the pop-ups at bay. This hits the cookies as well, but tends to be best to root out the bad stuff you might pick up by clicking (or even viewing) advertising.

A-Squared - This is the program that saved my computer. Granted, it was because the virus's database did not include that program as a Stop, but it's especially good at rooting out trojan horse viruses. And killing them dead.

HijackThis - This program will run a scan on your whole running system if you have a problem. The only issue I have posting it is it's not DIY for amateurs. You'll have to go to the website forum, post the result, and get an answer. Granted, the folks there are awesome and responsive. Just wanted to alert anyone to the extra step (especially if they're dealing with a dead internet connection).


That Virus Thing

You should also have ONE anti-virus program running (multiples can cancel each other out or even fight for dominance). These run all the time and check out incoming items as they're saved or opened. The best free I've found - and both are excellent - have been:

AVG

Avira AntiVir


Now go get those programs and clean up your stuff! If you've had your computer for more than 4 months, you should probably also Defragment your hard drive, but that's a completely different post.

Be with you soon about that.


As always, comments welcome, especially from anyone who has different/better programs to pass on to my readers. Much appreciated!

Interntet Cleaning: Wash That Junk - Especially the Nasty Bits

(postponed due to wind-based 'lectric impairment. carry on.)


No, of course it's not your mess. Actually, it is. It's all your junk. All the crap you've accumulated on your computer is pork, is baggage, is e-fat, weighing you down and clogging your internet and interactive experience.

Being on and around computers for many, many hours almost every day I sometimes forget that there are certain things are not common knowledge outside my personal circle of conversation. For example, many people are not aware that Roy Scheider ad libbed the famous Jaws line "We're going to need a bigger boat." And Harrison Ford ad libbed "I know" to Leia's proclamation of love to Han Solo. And... wait. I'm falling off track here. I've got to start a movies blog.

Many people still don't realize that when you go online, every image you see is actually stored on your hard drive; when you go to a website, chances are that they put what is called a "cookie" in your browser folder to track if you've been there before (in the most harmless sense) and when you click "Login" and see your username there, you sigh and say "Well, daggum, how sweet they remembered me."

Suffice it to say that every time you go online, your computer stores up files like a Port-a-Potty that never gets emptied. If you don't already know about this, the following advice will help, and if you are already painfully aware, I am taxing your "obvious" threshold.

So here is a brief list of tools that I have used or currently use in order to keep myself and my computer centered. Most are free. I believe every free version has an upgrade or two that are paid versions, if you're interested.

Daily Cleansing

CCleaner

This program used to be called Crap Cleaner. Ah, youth! Then everyone realized that it worked really well. Drat, respectability! Now it's called CCleaner. From the site: "It removes unused files from your system - allowing Windows to run faster and freeing up valuable hard disk space. It also cleans traces of your online activities such as your Internet history." Works like it says it does. Free.

Window Washer

Webroot produces an entire line of home and office protection software. Window Washer is my only non-free item on the list. That's because I've been using it for about 5 years and am in sweet, sweet love with it. Does all the browser/cookie cleaning that CCleaner does, but also hooks into over 470 third-party programs to erase their history, and the best: bleach.

Lesson bit: When you delete a file, you do not physically remove the file, magnetically erase it, or otherwise dispose of it. You are simply letting the computer know that that area is open for rewriting if it needs it. Computer forensics? That's people who know how to restore those deleted files. See: child pornography rings.

I'm not saying anyone is breaking the law, but Window Washer can, while cleaning your internet cache, overwrite those files with junk data up to NSA's 13x + so that you have some peace of mind that that junk you get rid of can not be recovered. Granted, with the right expert.... Best I've used. $30.


Bug Patrol

Ad-Aware

Oh, Ad-Aware, how do I love thee? This is anti-spyware at its free best. Those little bits pieces of data that track your information? Ad-Aware eats them for breakfast. It gives you a wonderful comfort level that no one is tracking your clicks. Tasty. Delicious. Free.

Malwarebytes

Site: "Malwarebytes has developed a variety of tools that can identify and remove malicious software from your computer. When your computer becomes infected, Malwarebytes can provide the needed assistance to remove the infection and restore the machine back to optimum performance." Tru dat. This one, too, has provided me with at least one Hail Mary save. Free.

a-squared

This one pulls a bit of a crossover into the anti-virus territory as well. From the site: "Scan your PC for infections of Trojans, Viruses, Spyware, Adware, Worms, Bots, Keyloggers and Dialers." I was lucky enough to pull the full version on a Giveaway of the Day and it saved my desktop's memory from a rather malicious worm. Robust and lovely. Free.


Anti-virus

AVG

I've been using this for a long time as well. Good as a sentry, good for scanning for viruses. It's not a commercial-grade system, but it does its job. Free.

Avira AntiVir

I haven't been using this for as long, but it works more actively as a sentry than AVG and I've had great success with it. Anti-virus, anti-rootkit, anti-dialer. Free.


Keepin' the Kids Under Wraps (I Mean Safe)

Monitoring software runs into the realm of parenting. As the father of a soon-to-be 13-year-old, there are basics you can provide to begin with. Don't let your child have unfettered access to a computer with internet access in their room. Ever. But not all parents can pull that off or already have let it go too far. Here are a couple options to pull back the reins a little and, yes, keep your child safe.

Bluecoat K9

K9 Web Protection is a "free Internet filtering and control solution for the home. K9 puts YOU in control of the Internet so you can protect your kids." K9 blocks web pages and applications by category (chat, adult, etc.) with exceptions by URL so you can have total control over what your child or children access if you can not be over their shoulder. Quality program. Free.

Actual Keylogger

Actual Keylogger runs in the background, hidden by key combo/password, and records every key hit on the computer as well as relevant applications/sites. If your child is a misspeller, it can be painful to view the logs. And every program above will tag this program as malicious. Use at your own risk. Free.


Obviously, this is all opinion and subjective experience, even if it's all entirely correct. But I'm sure you've been using some great stuff too. What are your recommendations? What do you like to use? Good program suggestions through comments will be added to this post through updates.

Now get out there and protect yourself.