Unfortunate Ad: HISCOX

I saw this ad over at The Oatmeal, a site full of witty and insightful web comics, seated amongst similarly-sized comic links like "How to Pet a Kitty" and the like.



Then I clicked it 'cause I was all like "OMG - thorough, well-thought-out joke site by which I may waste my time!" But I looked and I looked. And I couldn't find the funny fake-ness I anticipated it to be. And then I saw the figurative, tall, angry HR lady in a pant-suit looking down upon me with the disappointment of a sister in a habit, making that sad clicking noise out of the side of her mouth before barely audibly sighing "And what did you think would be so funny?" *

Did I mention I grew up with Cox Cable in the house?


* While I made a point of dramatizing it a bit, I am a professional when it comes to usability; the ad size tip-off, pre-click, to a quick scan and click-through of the target site lasted less than six seconds.

Do I Need to Adjust My SEO Every Month?

NO.




Sorry. Allow me to elucidate.

I get the question all the time and not everyone likes my answer. The question generally comes from a client or potential client who heard from someone something to the effect of: "Yeah, Google's always adjusting its algorithm, so you've got to mix up that SEO every single month to keep up."


The Plan

Say you or a service provider puts together an all-inclusive, rear-kickin' SEO plan and executes it perfectly. Every page has a definitive focus, reinforced by the page title - h1 - copy Holy Relevance Trinity. Your meta data is tuned (if not always used), alt and title attribute tags are playing some killer backup and your copy is sufficient but not overkill, readable but keyword-dense.

What then?

Well, assuming the necessary submissions, robots.txt, autodiscovery are in place and nothing is done to accidentally sabotage the outcome, you've got a pretty good chance Google et.al. will begin indexing your pages or raising your rankings. After a couple weeks to a couple months, that is.


The Someone Quote

"Yeah, Google's always adjusting its algorithm, so you've got to mix up that SEO every single month to keep up."

The first problem with that general idea is the timing. Yes, you can be certain that the good folks at Google don't take one day off making tiny changes to the algorithm. But as we just mentioned, it may take a couple months to get moving. So what were you tweaking?

The second problem with the quote is the absolute arrogance it encompasses. That Someone does not know a whole lot about the algorithm, let alone the little adjustments; if they did, they would be busy on a yacht.

The last problem is necessity. If you already have a clear focus on your pages and a solid search engine optimization setup, how much can you accurately make that better by small tweaks from month to month? The answer is: you can't.


The Con(clusion)

The person who tells you that you need SEO adjustments every month either does not understand search engine optimization or is lying in order to perpetuate that myth - and perhaps even rope you into an unnecessary, expensive 12+ month SEO contract. Their gain, your loss.

In a worst-case scenario, you're looking at a never-ending game of ghost cat-and-mouse: "Sorry about the lack of any measurable results, but we're doing everything we can and Google keeps switching it up."

(Can you guess which parties do not appreciate my answer?)


A Recommendation

Search engine optimization does change, but except for the HUGE revisions (hint: they have names), the little tweaks aren't going to drastically affect your rankings, and the little tweaks that would be done to your site monthly are something a small- or medium- sized business has absolutely no need for.

After I explain this to a client, I give them a realistic recommendation: Yes, Google does change, but your focus does not, not by much. So after 90 days we'll take a look at analytics, at rankings, (at no charge) and if we see something that could increase your rankings, at THAT time we'll put together suggestions with justification into a proposal for additional SEO work.

In my professional opinion, anything else is either ignorance or deception.


(Sidenote for another post: Be wary of anyone separating web design from SEO, e.g. "And this is our SEO Package." "SEO Friendly" is what you get if you don't choose that package, which generally means "If you want it later, we'll tear out the drywall in your house to add the electric. Until then? Nothing, and we'll wait for your call.")

Video Friday: Catchphrases that Stick

Because of io9.com's list of 10 catchphrases you swear you never use, I was inspired to snag some videos with famous sci-fi quotes (at least famous to me). Let me know what you think!

"Make it so."


This is Unix...




That's no moon...




Three seashells




Three seashells - in French?




Have a great weekend!

Mind the Nozzel

Captured somewhere between Cinci and Chicago this Thanksgiving:



I think they're doing it wrong.

Don't Let the Alarm Clock Drive

Here's a little motivational psychological tip to help you get every last bit of kick out in the morning: Don't let the alarm clock drive.

In other words, instead of getting up when you hear the blaring of the clock or the ring of your phone alarm, hit that snooze button (you know you're doing that already, anyway). Take a few deep breaths, run through your first steps of the morning, and get moving under your own power.

It's a small mind trick, but when you let the alarm clock drive the first act of your day, you're being pushed by an "outside" force. However, when you move on your own, get up between beeps, YOU are taking charge of the first moments of your day, you are grabbing ownership at the get-go. And that can make all the difference the whole day through.

Friday! Snow FAIL, Scrollwheel, Starting Line FAIL

Things still snow-covered? Don't try to remove it like this:




I love helping others in understanding technology and the internet. But sometimes it's even worse than this:




And I guess we can close it out with one more FAIL:



Have a great weekend!

MyCleanPC.com - Buyer Beware

Here's an edited version of the commercial with a humorous end, but the only bit I could come up with on short notice:



Now this has been around for a few years, and that tells me that someone's making a heap-load of money because it's become even more prevalent on television in the past few months. Or maybe I'm watching more late-night television.


More Than 3 Seconds

So aside from the spokesman looking and sounding like he's nursing a nasty cold (purposeful? virus?), the line that always bugs me is "Does it take more than three seconds for your email to load?"

What exactly does that mean?

• Should I be clocking Outlook to see if the program opens in 3 seconds?
• Should I be clocking the email load once Outlook opens?
• Should I be clocking how long it takes to complete a send/receive request?
• Is it how long it takes my browser to open in the process of checking online email?
• Maybe the length of time it takes to bring up Gmail?
• Does typing time count?
• What's a jiffy?!
• I'm so confused!

That's just my off-the-cuff process. Many people watch that commercial and respond "Yeah, slow email: bad."

And then they've got you.

But here's a tip: the whole thing is meant to be vague, indirect, and misleading, especially to people who find computers to be a little complicated and confusing.


What's the Harm?

You're going to go to their website and you'll see the giant green button and the word FREE all over the place and OMG you computer's so slow *click* and you're downloading and installing the executable file which will scan your registry. And it will tell you that you have registry errors. Want to fix them?

Oh, that's easy. We just have to discuss the little issue of purchasing the activation for the software so it can fix your computer.

Ah, but you're savvy, so you looked ...all over ...two links? Why won't they tell me how much it is before I scan and then have to buy it?

Exactly.

MyCleanPC.com is shilling for a program called CyberDefender. I don't care if it's the best dang registry scanner in the fracking world: The deliberate misdirection and manipulation of people who very simply may not know better is a SHADY practice and something to be abhorred.

Feel free to contact them to let them know they're shady.


But What Can I DO?

I know. I understand. Your computer is still slow and the most obvious solution on the teevee is actually a potentially dangerous bogeyman. Why not take a look at my post on The FREE Way to Clean & Protect Your Computer. It is completely legit: It highlights truly free programs that I have found work quite well and I get absolutely nothing for telling you about them. This is about making you a more savvy consumer.


That's one down. What scams or shady practices have you run into recently or in the past? Hit me in the comments and don't be afraid of the sidebar - I'm always available in a variety of ways and happy to take the time to chat about your thoughts or questions.


P.S. Depending on the branch of science, jiffy has several definitions as a length of time.