Badvertising: Dr. Pepper

I like Dr. Pepper; I have since I was a kid. And Diet Dr. Pepper? Really, it tastes darn close to its regular, HFCS-laden brother. But in the last couple weeks I've seen both of the following advertisements for Dr. Pepper and thought #FAIL. Let's take a look.

Always One of a Kind



Here we begin our journey with the greyed corporate masses, the herd, and the single break-away man stripping down (revealing his true self) to the iconic maroon Dr. Pepper shirt. He's a pepper!

But then everyone gets in on it. Suddenly, people are popping up in pepper tees like Sneeches pumping through the belly star-stamper machine. NO!

Yes. By the end of the commercial, the message that flowed through the first fifteen seconds of the spot or so has completely lost its weight; everyone is wearing the shirt. Everyone is One of a Kind. Except for fat people; I suppose no overweight people were harmed in the making of this commercial - but they also cannot be peppers :(

You too can be unique...just like everyone else.


Dr. Pepper TEN: It's Not for Women

(Action Movie)


(Man Shed)


Somehow, the marketing folks here managed to insult both women and men. And miss the point.

The desire, clearly, is to take something you would not normally associate with diet soda - men and "manliness" - and suffocate it with testosterone tropes until it taps out in the target consumer's head as "must be manly." The problem is they're attempting to rent a room in the house that beer - and sometimes whiskey - owns, and has ...forever.

It doesn't work, even on an underlying psychological level. I would argue that the absurd juxtaposition of forcing diet soda into these masculinized shop/action movie/bar/potato gun situations is actually working in reverse. "Diet soda at the bar? Why not just carry a purse. Wait, where are those guys' purses?" And suddenly the men are feminized and the message by the end is that Dr. Pepper TEN will make you more lady-like.

Misogyny

Sidenote here: you can do all those man things without the endcap comments. Okay, "Keep your romantic comedies" is quaint because haha women like romcoms. But "Keep your gardening"? That rides a little too close to the edge of domestic stereotypes for good taste. "Yeah, keep your gardening, as soon as you make me that sammich! You have that baby yet? Shutup! I'm in my shed!"

Yes you are, manly-man. Drinking Diet Dr. Pepper out of your purse.

Friday! Snow FAIL, Scrollwheel, Starting Line FAIL

Things still snow-covered? Don't try to remove it like this:




I love helping others in understanding technology and the internet. But sometimes it's even worse than this:




And I guess we can close it out with one more FAIL:



Have a great weekend!

RIP Palm Pre: Jun 2009 - Nov 2010

I loved you, Palm Pre. Yes, I took the chance and early-adopted and was aglow in your wonder from the first moment I purchased you. And while your OS sometimes faltered, I stood by you. And when iPhones and Androids mocked your lacking app catalogue, I fought for you. But, Palm Pre, you failed me.

Say NO to Crack

The Palm Pre has one fatal flaw that is shared with any and all touchscreen phones: crack the screen in a way that disables the ability to touch control the phone and the phone is not only dead to use, it is dead to transferring anything via USB and dead to a Sprint rep pulling your contacts from it.

Palm Pre, because of its particular shape, is especially prone to cracking.

Personally, I had my phone, not in a case, but in my pocket with a pen - I think that's how it started. Apparently an angled lean produced a slight crack in the face near the charger port on the right. It was sad, but not catastrophic. But basic use can turn a small blip into a monster, like a windshield splitting.

The crack spread towards the single button over a couple months. In the other direction it spread to crack the rest of the charger port and the piece holding in the port plug was disabled; it fell out. Two weeks ago, the crack hit the main button and spidered - on the inner-screen - in a 5-fingered mess.

At first, I could still use the screen in all but the lower right 1/4 quadrant. But then it got worse. Thanksgiving day I woke and noticed I couldn't drag the icon out to unlock it. My touchscreen had been rendered useless.


My New Sidearm

I've broken my Pre and didn't get insurance when I bought it, so it is dead. Luckily my wife recently upgraded from a Blackberry Curve to a Tour, so I'm now slinging a cranberry Curve.

I just need to get my contacts transferred...


Sprint & Palm: Customer Service ...?

First stop: Sprint store. Within a minute of presenting my phones and declaring the Pre screen useless the Sprint CSR said: Sorry, there's nothing we can do.

Great. Okay, second option: I have my contact data backed up on the Palm server through my profile. I can just access that, right?

WARNING: Always use the rule of 3's on data. With phone contact information, you want to back up with the device company, with Gmail, and obviously you'll have your data on your device. Lessons learned...

Palm has my data. But through a broken-English online chat with "Steve" and then his supervisor "Austin," it was clear that they had NO answer except: You will never see your data again unless you purchase another Palm product. Frustrated, I had them escalate it to Corporate (yes, you can do that) and got a call back yesterday. Yes, Sprint can transfer the data, but they'll need to use a separate device to login to Palm with my account and harvest the data from that.

Entering the store this afternoon, I talked to a very helpful and understanding rep name Cort. He was happy to answer any questions I had and even suggested something I'd never considered: if they have a Pre in store for a repair, they could just switch out screens temporarily to make that one screen press needed to generate the file for transfer.

Unfortunately, they didn't have any Pres. Nor did any of the other 3 Repair centers in the region from Dayton to Florence, KY. Boo. So now I'm waiting, calling every day to see if they've got one in so I can transfer hundreds of contacts to my new business lifeline.


Looking Back

The Palm Pre was a great phone. I enjoyed the ease of use of PalmOS, the slick feel of the "river stone" design, the Google integration, and the induction charging of the dock. Yum. I loved the squidgy tactile feel of the buttons that allowed my too-thick fingers to feel comfortable typing on such a small board.

I won't miss 5 integrated emails and moderate use killing the battery in 3-4 hours (activating WiFi at home or hotspot could extend that by 1-3 hours). I'll miss the multiple alarms but not some of them going off twice. I won't miss checking the phone for time and - creepy! - it jumping back a minute. I won't miss the sparse App menu.

After a few days playing with my Blackberry, I'm really missing the multitasking of the Pre (I can't check a text while using the GPS Nav program without completely closing out of the Nav program). I can't stand that text messages and sync'd emails and facebook messages are all lumped into one mass pile (Pre had separate text section sorted by threads), though each email has its own icon. The extensive customization is just not there. But it'll do. It'll do.


Looking Forward

I got my Pre in June of 2009. At the time, I was enamored with the design and hot off a Treo with a terrible Windows Mobile OS. As I mentioned, I loved my Pre. Based on my purchase date, I don't get the full benefit on an upgrade until June next year.

And I'm troubled.

I've been hot for the HTC Evo since I first glanced at it. It's damn hawt. And then when I was in the store today I saw - and touched - the Samsung Epic and I think I had to wipe the drool off my face with its slick interface and physical keyboard slide.

But there's a part of me that's scared to get a new touchscreen. Then again, I'd get the insurance on it and now know to double-down on the contact backups.

But that decision is a few months down the line and I'm guaranteed that I'll be even more conflicted in six months when even sweeter phones have come out.


Verdict

Palm Pre was great, but I probably won't go Palm again. I will ALWAYS get the insurance and ALWAYS back up my contact data in as many ways as possible. Until then, I'm rocking the Blackberry. And that's okay.

Hopefully you can take something away from this tech silliness. As always, comments and suggestions are welcome.

Inspiration: The Day TV Died

Today my Sony 36" CRT, only 9 years old, bought the farm.

And at first I was sad. I was troubled.

But then I realized how much I would get done if that infernal box was not a part of my life.

At least for now (already looking at LCD HDTV).

But over the last few weeks, I've had some of the best conversations with my wife - some of the best in the 10 years we've known each other. And today there's no excuse to catch up on our DVR (just finished Flash Forward last night), but more of a direct excuse to head back out to the deck, to talk like real people and not like the TV-addled masses in this world.

Yes, we'll eventually pick up a new (non)tube, but for now, I'm thrilled. We'll eschew the tales of crime and fantasy and live in our own heads, on our own time.

So the TV died. Long live the TV! But not tonight. And maybe not for a week or two. Maybe it's time to live with quiet, live with just us.

I'm not saying "Kill your TV," but maybe a couple days out of the week it should just stay off. Turn your phone to vibrate. And talk to someone.

Friday Videos: Pakistani Grover, Butter Jesus, Church Biker Fail

Pakistani Grover

This is amazing and worth every second.



"An incredible mash-up from Pakistan. Grover and friends do some shaking to a 'Sufiyan English' song from a 1970s Pakistani film."
h/t to BoingBoing


Big Butter Jesus

And if you've been at all conscious this week and live around Cincinnati (or caught it on various national news programs), Touchdown Jesus, a.k.a. Big Butter Jesus went up in flames when it was struck by lightning Monday evening. Here's Haywood Banks' classic to some video:




Church Biker Fail

And since I know and you know you're here for a decent FAIL, let's keep with the religious theme and give you the church biker:



Have a great weekend!

Graphic FAIL: Tara Medium

Had this image hanging around in my drafts. Unfortunate in that the glimmer makes the "a" read as a "d."

Friday Videos: McDonald's Old Style, Hockey Guys, Pool Jump FAIL

4-year Old McDonald's Burger

I watched Super Size Me and it did not do what this video did for me. I will NEVER touch McDonald's (or much other fast food) ever again. Evar.




Hockey, Guys!

I feel kinda bad for this guy, guys. Guys?



...of course that's not as bad as the legendary Boom Goes The Dynamite!




Pool Jump

And since you're actually here for a serious FAIL, here you go:



Have a great weekend!

Videos: Awesome Chemistry, Pacman, Wedding FAIL

The Awesome of Chemistry


Science!


Pacman Ghosts Discuss TV




...and because it's just not Friday without some FAIL,

Wedding Photo FAIL



Have a great weekend!

Unfortunate Facebook

Juxtaposition can sometimes have unfortunate consequences. This appeared as a Facebook update in my feed. Blurring to protect the innocent.

MSNBC.com's Unfortunate Juxtaposition

I'll let the graphic I pulled from the site today speak for itself:



FAIL.

Friday Videos: Tiger After Dentist, Old Spice, Trampoline + Pool FAIL

Tiger After Dentist

I was going to post the original Tiger Nike commercial here, but after finding out the audio was pulled from a 2004 DVD and (unsurprisingly) that his father wasn't really addressing the problem at hand, I was left only with the fact that Nike sees more profit than liability in the long-term investment in Tiger, to the point that they will exploit a recording of his own dead father. Boo.

So how about a parody instead? The audio is pulled from the monstrously viral David After Dentist, and is oddly relevant.




Odor Blocker from Old Spice

Have you seen the new commercials? Me neither. But they're Awesome. I guess it's not a coincidence they're directed by Tim & Eric from the Tim & Eric Awesome Show. Awesome. Here's the channel, and here's a few examples. Did I say Awesome?

Flex




Punch




Pool Trampoline FAIL

Because it all comes down to the FAIL. But wait, you say. How can a pool and a trampoline possibly combine into a fail scenario? Allow me to show you...

Friday Videos: Grizzly Bear, Regeneration, FAIL

If you've never heard of Grizzly Bear, take a minute and check this out. The video is a little odd (meaning I love it) and vocals are fantastic.




Regenerating bodies from New Scientist. Always something to drop your jaw, those guys.




...and an obvious, thoughtless end to the week: Backflip fail.



Have a good one!

Friday Video: Sand Animation, Betty White, T-Shirt War, & FAIL

This past week just blew by; I can't believe we're at Friday already. Here's some entertainment to end the week:

Kseniya Simonova's Amazing Sand Drawing

Also referred to as "sand animation," if you haven't seen the winner of Ukraine's Got Talent in action, you owe it to yourself to do so. Now.




Superbowl

This was one of my favorites from last week. You can't beat Betty White and Abe Vigoda.




T-Shirt War

Especially clever stop-motion clip, also worth your time.




Slide FAIL

I'm sorry. What was I thinking? I'm sure you're in the mood to get the weekend started with something a little more mindless. Here you are.



Have a great weekend!

MSN Tech-NO: The Microsoft-Google Synchronized FAIL Team

So if I go to Google - as I am wont to do - and were to type in, for instance, tech gadgets I get to see this:



Note that the #2 non-sponsored link is MSN's Tech Page. Okay, that's cool. Maybe I should check that out. *click*



BOO! MSN! Google! Boo!

FYI, the timed redirect goes to MSNBC's Tech page. This is an absolute SEO FAIL in a couple ways and both are to blame:

• Google is listing at #2 a page that no longer exists.


• Google is listing at #2 a page that has a timed redirect.


• Microsoft did not post a 301 permanent redirect.

Boo!

For someone who is in the industry and knows what they're doing, this is saddening and disheartening. It's an obvious glitch on a prominent sample in a system that says that listing should not exist. I'm not saying I don't expect goofs and oversight every once in a while. But goofs and oversights are small. This is pretty big. And it's either saying "Google and MSN not only trip but sometimes even fall" or "If you're big enough and talk to the right people, you don't have to follow the rules."

I hope it's the former.

[sidenote: Good on Google for banging the drums against China!]

What're your thoughts?

Friday Video Overlap: FailBlog's Top 10 FAILs ++

So good it deserves its own post.




...and I've really just got to stop with YouTube today. Here are the Sleep Sweepers:

Web 2.0 FAIL

Ever look into the mirror and see the back of your head? Weird.

Friday Film: P-P-P-Poker Face, FAIL, Cute, Today Show

Will I ever consistently title this Friday post? No. Probably not. Friday Film good? Maybe Terrible Tube? We'll figure something out. Or not. Here's your ration:

Can't get enough p-p-p-poker face? Here's a triple dose with Lady Gaga vs. Christopher Walken vs. Cartman. Worth every second. A cowbell reference here would be trite.




Did somebody ask for an epic FAIL to wrap up their week? Of course! But you'll be emphatically sore for a while after watching See Saw Epic Fail




Ooh, sorry about that. I know it hurts. How about cute to cure that ache?




Dang. Too cute. How about some pseudo-news? Kid reporter on The Today Show? Deirdre. And the freak out that follows...




Good round for the week. Anything you would've included? Not included? Let me know, and have a great weekend!

Friday Videos: Moonwalk Fail, Shake Weight, N64 Kid

In the tradition of keeping things within the range of the attention span of the internet, I present you with 3 videos under 2 minutes:

Moonwalk Fail

Not much to be said - plays as advertised.




Shake Weight

Only 4 million reps? Please comment your own conclusions. :S




N64 Kid

Because a classic is always a classic. Seriously, that's not me. I'd be way more excited.

Linkedin Comment FAIL

Anyone else ever notice that if you submit a blank comment on Linkedin that instead of there being a warning that you have not actually entered anything you get your home page with the warning above?

This is very basic interface design and a surprising and annoying piece of what I previously thought was a pretty polished design.

Always interesting to find these quirks.

Wednesday Twitter: Leavitt Leaves It, AIM 2-Ways, and Anthem BCBS?

Leavitt Leaves It

I'm surprised every week at the flurry of news having to do with how sports and Twitter are intermingling (and often fighting). This week has South Florida's Jim Leavitt quitting Twitter:

Leavitt has decided to quit in part because he found out a few of his players were tweeting on the way to and even in the locker room before Saturday's game against Wofford. Carlton Mitchell was updating his Twitter feed during the rain delay before kickoff.

"It just seems like something they probably shouldn't do," Leavitt told the Times. "I'm not going to use Twitter anymore. ... If I'm going to ask my players not to probably do it during that time, I'm just going to stop. My twittering days are over. .. .That's it for me, and hopefully it is at certain times for other players. We'll see."

Again, we're dealing with the advance warning, the threat that someone might let someone slip. And as I've said before, restrictions like that are in place because not every Twitter user is the brightest bulb in the bunch. Honestly, I'm mildly surprised that there hasn't been a college or professional sports team that's made the news because of a firing based on dumping extra-secret information at a very wrong time.

While it may be unfortunate for fans and a little extreme in my view, Leavitt is at least walking the walk well before he talks the talk to his team.


AIM on the 2-Way, and I Don't Mean Cincinnati Chili and Noodles

I can't say that this is huge news, but as someone who has been a Trillian addict for years now, I'm a little detached from what each IM client has been doing individually. Here's the skinny: in July, AIM upgraded their service to include Twitter and Facebook feeds. The rub? You could only read the feed, not update through the interface. Why anyone would release a service at half o'clock is beyond me. But they did go ahead and implement that pesky extra stuff everyone was asking for a week or two ago. And now you can update Twitter and Facebook through AIM.

As I may have already mentioned: just get Trillian.


BCBS FAIL

To avoid confusion, please allow me to begin by stating that the annotative context of the article lies here:

Currently, Anthem is piloting a program in which it uses Twitter to identify members who may have questions or concerns about their health benefits. Twitter allows Anthem to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, real time conversation, and respond to each tweet about Anthem. Members can follow Anthem on Twitter at www.twitter.com/AnthemHealth.

Okay, that's a notable item. Additionally, they have a Facebook fan page to implement discussions and a YouTube channel to ...channel their expertise and advice.

The Twitter and Facebook pieces make me somewhat nervous when talking about health care. I'm guessing that ABCBS has some generally knowledgeable folks in charge of owning their conversation online (though you may question that after the next paragraph), but there are a bevvy of folks on both Twitter and Facebook that do not understand either how to use the services or how visible their personal use can be. And then one angry woman does an @AnthemHealth Tweet about why they won't pick up the cost of [enter embarrassing personal surgery here] and wonders why her tweet is on a dozen schadenfreude websites and people have stopped following her.

Oh, don't change that channel! We've got one more level!

Because this if from Reuters we can assume it is a published news release - verbatim - from Anthem ("SOURCE Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield in Wisconsin"). And that's where the connotative nature of this article reveals itself.

Not just for teens anymore - social networking and media tools such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube are being used by adults to interact with their friends, families and to gain information.

I know. It's like listening to your mother karaoke "Baby Got Back." The most recent research on Twitter showed teens are much more a minority user than previously assumed. But even at that level of media ignorance, language assuming Twitter as EVAR a huge teen/tween phenomenon pushes past a n00b label to "You do not now - nor have you ever - understood what this is about. Please stop embarrassing yourself, leave, and self-educate."

Wait. More?

Anthem is also launching a brand channel on YouTube (www.youtube.com/AnthemHealthConnects) to create a vital and viral community around health and wellness.

Oh, and your uncle dials up "I Will Survive." Just because you have a YouTube channel does not mean that you are doing anything viral. Yes, YouTube videos can go viral, but it is generally because it is something nasty, sick, painful, heroic, incredibly annoying, or unbelievable. I'm guessing Anthem's professional and informational outlook would prevent them from anything that had the potential of going viral.

My biggest hope about this article is that it was not written with the advice or input of the team that is heading up this social media expansion, and that the author just doesn't get it (not that that says much for their collaborative organization). If not, then Anthem might want to brace for a very serious Epic Fail.