MyCleanPC.com - Buyer Beware

Here's an edited version of the commercial with a humorous end, but the only bit I could come up with on short notice:



Now this has been around for a few years, and that tells me that someone's making a heap-load of money because it's become even more prevalent on television in the past few months. Or maybe I'm watching more late-night television.


More Than 3 Seconds

So aside from the spokesman looking and sounding like he's nursing a nasty cold (purposeful? virus?), the line that always bugs me is "Does it take more than three seconds for your email to load?"

What exactly does that mean?

• Should I be clocking Outlook to see if the program opens in 3 seconds?
• Should I be clocking the email load once Outlook opens?
• Should I be clocking how long it takes to complete a send/receive request?
• Is it how long it takes my browser to open in the process of checking online email?
• Maybe the length of time it takes to bring up Gmail?
• Does typing time count?
• What's a jiffy?!
• I'm so confused!

That's just my off-the-cuff process. Many people watch that commercial and respond "Yeah, slow email: bad."

And then they've got you.

But here's a tip: the whole thing is meant to be vague, indirect, and misleading, especially to people who find computers to be a little complicated and confusing.


What's the Harm?

You're going to go to their website and you'll see the giant green button and the word FREE all over the place and OMG you computer's so slow *click* and you're downloading and installing the executable file which will scan your registry. And it will tell you that you have registry errors. Want to fix them?

Oh, that's easy. We just have to discuss the little issue of purchasing the activation for the software so it can fix your computer.

Ah, but you're savvy, so you looked ...all over ...two links? Why won't they tell me how much it is before I scan and then have to buy it?

Exactly.

MyCleanPC.com is shilling for a program called CyberDefender. I don't care if it's the best dang registry scanner in the fracking world: The deliberate misdirection and manipulation of people who very simply may not know better is a SHADY practice and something to be abhorred.

Feel free to contact them to let them know they're shady.


But What Can I DO?

I know. I understand. Your computer is still slow and the most obvious solution on the teevee is actually a potentially dangerous bogeyman. Why not take a look at my post on The FREE Way to Clean & Protect Your Computer. It is completely legit: It highlights truly free programs that I have found work quite well and I get absolutely nothing for telling you about them. This is about making you a more savvy consumer.


That's one down. What scams or shady practices have you run into recently or in the past? Hit me in the comments and don't be afraid of the sidebar - I'm always available in a variety of ways and happy to take the time to chat about your thoughts or questions.


P.S. Depending on the branch of science, jiffy has several definitions as a length of time.

Friday Videos: Fried Gnocchi, Metrodome, Worst Web Meeting Evar

Fried Gnocchi

A cautionary tale. Don't fry your gnocchi. Really. Don't. Evar.


(via urlesque)


Metrodome Roof Collapse snOMG!

If you haven't seen it yet, here's your chance.




Worst Web Meeting Evar

A little creation of my own, collecting all the head-shaking moments as a web developer in one meeting from hell.

Social Media: State Farm, Tempur-pedic, and Leveraging PR

Tempur-pedic & State Farm have both been doing something in the past several months that I have seen NO other companies doing and I wanted to bring it to light.

Perhaps you've seen this commercial from Tempur-pedic?



"Ask me," they tempt you. "Go to Facebook," they say.

Or perhaps the "People Trust People" commercial from State Farm:



"Talk to State Farm ...but not yet."


Both of these commercials are taking a single idea, leveraging social media, and coming out more transparent and credible for it.

The idea is this: The guy/gal selling you something has words staged to sell. If you hear "X Company is awesome" from them, it doesn't carry NEARLY the weight of hearing "X Company is awesome" from a friend, friend on Facebook, or as a testimonial from an existing customer.

And these companies are taking a chance: if you're looking for negative views of Tempur-pedic or State Farm, you can find them on the internet. They're staking a claim on the positive reviews of their clients, and because they both have a solid product that people are generally happy with, they have faith that YOUR friends or other people you don't necessarily know will speak wonderfully about what they have to offer.

(Side Note: the psychology behind justifying a large purchase that's better than what they had [Tempur-pedic] or "nothing going wrong when nothing happens" [State Farm] is not being addressed here.)

The great thing about these campaigns is that it's a design every small business can emulate (as long as you don't have a backlog of unsatisfied clients).

How does it work for small business? Easy.

When you're networking, when you're selling yourself, when people ask (and they should): Why should I choose you? You answer them by saying "Here's what makes us special..." AND "We can do what you need to increase value to your company, but here are a couple people/companies that know what we can do. Talk to them first. If you're still interested, my number's on the card."

You, too, can leverage organic PR to grow your business. You just didn't know you needed to do it yet. Now you do. Make it happen.

Friday Videos: Star Trek Sitcom, Papa Johns Freakout, Transformers, Google Search 2010

Star Trek: The Sitcom

A few years old, but bumped into it again this week. Brilliant.




Papa John's Freakout

Pizza can never be completed quickly enough for college-age Veruca Salt.




Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Official trailer!




Google Zeitgeist 2010

How the world searched in 2010




Have a great weekend!

Flashback Nostalgia: The 286 & Hindenburg

I came across this historic video of the Hindenburg disaster and my nostalgia circuits lit up out of my mind:



Back in what must've been 1990 or 1991, I was about 13 and our first home computer was a 286 PC. I still laugh at the words the salesman at the computer store pitched to my father: "This thing has 40 MEGAbytes of hard drive space - you'd never fill that in your lifetime!" (Note: At the time, modified for data explosion, 40MB was like 4TB for home use.) He wasn't lying. He just didn't have any idea about Moore's Law.

I remember helping set up this computer and being so excited and one of the first things we did was access the Encarta encyclopedia program through the DOS operating system (I later was able to install Windows by modifying batch files to drop other BS and allocate necessary memory). My parents and I and one of my sisters clicked around and found ...VIDEOS!?!?!

The point being: the VERY FIRST video I ever saw on a computer was an Encarta file that must've been about 150 pixels wide of the Hindenberg disaster. I think we found a video of Hitler screaming something terrible in German after that. But as weird as it sounds, it was a defining moment in my life. I was energized with what computers had the potential to do and at the same time my post-modern referential file was opened at 13: "Oh, the humanity!" entered my lexicon before most of my peers and, well, I'd guess many Americans probably couldn't tell you the source of that quote to this day.

Hindenberg opened my eyes in many ways that were never imagined when that blimp went down in flames. And I guess it's iconic that the the highest tech of my time united me with the highest (dirigible) tech of that time.

Yay computers!

RIP Palm Pre: Jun 2009 - Nov 2010

I loved you, Palm Pre. Yes, I took the chance and early-adopted and was aglow in your wonder from the first moment I purchased you. And while your OS sometimes faltered, I stood by you. And when iPhones and Androids mocked your lacking app catalogue, I fought for you. But, Palm Pre, you failed me.

Say NO to Crack

The Palm Pre has one fatal flaw that is shared with any and all touchscreen phones: crack the screen in a way that disables the ability to touch control the phone and the phone is not only dead to use, it is dead to transferring anything via USB and dead to a Sprint rep pulling your contacts from it.

Palm Pre, because of its particular shape, is especially prone to cracking.

Personally, I had my phone, not in a case, but in my pocket with a pen - I think that's how it started. Apparently an angled lean produced a slight crack in the face near the charger port on the right. It was sad, but not catastrophic. But basic use can turn a small blip into a monster, like a windshield splitting.

The crack spread towards the single button over a couple months. In the other direction it spread to crack the rest of the charger port and the piece holding in the port plug was disabled; it fell out. Two weeks ago, the crack hit the main button and spidered - on the inner-screen - in a 5-fingered mess.

At first, I could still use the screen in all but the lower right 1/4 quadrant. But then it got worse. Thanksgiving day I woke and noticed I couldn't drag the icon out to unlock it. My touchscreen had been rendered useless.


My New Sidearm

I've broken my Pre and didn't get insurance when I bought it, so it is dead. Luckily my wife recently upgraded from a Blackberry Curve to a Tour, so I'm now slinging a cranberry Curve.

I just need to get my contacts transferred...


Sprint & Palm: Customer Service ...?

First stop: Sprint store. Within a minute of presenting my phones and declaring the Pre screen useless the Sprint CSR said: Sorry, there's nothing we can do.

Great. Okay, second option: I have my contact data backed up on the Palm server through my profile. I can just access that, right?

WARNING: Always use the rule of 3's on data. With phone contact information, you want to back up with the device company, with Gmail, and obviously you'll have your data on your device. Lessons learned...

Palm has my data. But through a broken-English online chat with "Steve" and then his supervisor "Austin," it was clear that they had NO answer except: You will never see your data again unless you purchase another Palm product. Frustrated, I had them escalate it to Corporate (yes, you can do that) and got a call back yesterday. Yes, Sprint can transfer the data, but they'll need to use a separate device to login to Palm with my account and harvest the data from that.

Entering the store this afternoon, I talked to a very helpful and understanding rep name Cort. He was happy to answer any questions I had and even suggested something I'd never considered: if they have a Pre in store for a repair, they could just switch out screens temporarily to make that one screen press needed to generate the file for transfer.

Unfortunately, they didn't have any Pres. Nor did any of the other 3 Repair centers in the region from Dayton to Florence, KY. Boo. So now I'm waiting, calling every day to see if they've got one in so I can transfer hundreds of contacts to my new business lifeline.


Looking Back

The Palm Pre was a great phone. I enjoyed the ease of use of PalmOS, the slick feel of the "river stone" design, the Google integration, and the induction charging of the dock. Yum. I loved the squidgy tactile feel of the buttons that allowed my too-thick fingers to feel comfortable typing on such a small board.

I won't miss 5 integrated emails and moderate use killing the battery in 3-4 hours (activating WiFi at home or hotspot could extend that by 1-3 hours). I'll miss the multiple alarms but not some of them going off twice. I won't miss checking the phone for time and - creepy! - it jumping back a minute. I won't miss the sparse App menu.

After a few days playing with my Blackberry, I'm really missing the multitasking of the Pre (I can't check a text while using the GPS Nav program without completely closing out of the Nav program). I can't stand that text messages and sync'd emails and facebook messages are all lumped into one mass pile (Pre had separate text section sorted by threads), though each email has its own icon. The extensive customization is just not there. But it'll do. It'll do.


Looking Forward

I got my Pre in June of 2009. At the time, I was enamored with the design and hot off a Treo with a terrible Windows Mobile OS. As I mentioned, I loved my Pre. Based on my purchase date, I don't get the full benefit on an upgrade until June next year.

And I'm troubled.

I've been hot for the HTC Evo since I first glanced at it. It's damn hawt. And then when I was in the store today I saw - and touched - the Samsung Epic and I think I had to wipe the drool off my face with its slick interface and physical keyboard slide.

But there's a part of me that's scared to get a new touchscreen. Then again, I'd get the insurance on it and now know to double-down on the contact backups.

But that decision is a few months down the line and I'm guaranteed that I'll be even more conflicted in six months when even sweeter phones have come out.


Verdict

Palm Pre was great, but I probably won't go Palm again. I will ALWAYS get the insurance and ALWAYS back up my contact data in as many ways as possible. Until then, I'm rocking the Blackberry. And that's okay.

Hopefully you can take something away from this tech silliness. As always, comments and suggestions are welcome.

Restarting the Flow

Sometimes life interrupts.

And that's not an excuse. Life always interrupts. But people who try to blog on a regular basis, try to keep their social networks going, sometimes falter. That's me right now.

It usually comes out as "Oh, the holidays!" or "we had a death in the family" or "business got too busy" or "everyone in the house is sick" or they're lazy or tired or depressed or "there just wasn't time." Please, don't think I'm criticizing anyone but myself. Count me in on all of them.

How do you fix it?

You get back on the bus; you restart the flow, and you keep that flow going.

My best advice?

Plan well. Set your week's blogging subjects on Sunday or Monday. Even all you do is create a blog and give it a title and save it for later, you've already got your week primed for a quick interjection.

Set a schedule like it's part of your job. If you are even remotely related to social marketing, it is. "I'll blog at 10am every day." If you can pin down a time, you have no other thing to be doing. Blog.

So go ahead and plan and set and we'll be seeing more of you and your business.

And you'll be seeing more of me.

That will be all :)