So I'm Back, From Outer Space

July 11th was the last time I posted here. I've been busy. But I've also been just lazy in my time management and my priorities. I know, I know. I understand you're upset. But I'm here. Now. And we'll work this out. Just give me some time. Just a week or two. And we'll get back on just like we used to. It's going to be a cold winter; be good to have someone to curl up and read. Just saying.

So starting tomorrow (or, I guess, today), I'll be posting every weekday, M-F with occasional weekend Gravy. I'll keep it light and insightful, just like it used to be.

Thanks for reading. Be talking to you real soon.

The FREE Way to Clean & Protect Your Computer

I recently got an emergency email from a friend of mine saying her 9-year old daughter was having issues with some non-age-appropriate pop-ups. I was happy to help her, and it reminded me of those "Make Your Computer Faster" commercials where they'll "scan" your computer and then suggest you purchase their cleaning program.

You don't need to subscribe to a service or buy software to clean your system. You can do it youself - for free! Here's an overview.

The Problem

Every time you visit a website, every image you see on your screen is actually stored on your computer in a temporary file. It's referred to as a cache by the browser. When connection speeds were slower, this helped everyone: the browser checked if the referenced file was already living on your system and the server didn't have to download it and you saw web pages faster because the bigger graphics were already there.

But today, when speeds are much higher and good developers optimize graphics, it's not so much an issue. But the storage still happens. And with a higher rate of speed comes a higher rate of browsing - and much more sitting, stale, on your hard drive.

Along with graphics comes Cookies. A Cookie is when you go to website - say a weather website - and they put a little bit of information on your system. In this case, your zip code. So when you visit that weather website again, you don't have to enter your zip again; it reads it off the cookie and you see your town without ever thinking about it. Multiply that times a million.


The Danger

Whether it's a nasty bug or a full-on virus, if you are on the internet, your are vulnerable. Programs and clips of programs piggyback on everything you can possibly download. And it can shut down your system or act as a "zombie," waiting an activation code to attack anything from YouTube to a government computer, depending on what the writer intended.

Some viruses only exist to propagate and gum up the system. I actually had one of these 2 years ago and it not only slowed my system to a crawl, but crippled almost all my anti-virus and anti-malware programs, as well as shutting down the installation of new anti- programs.


So whether it's cleaning your system or killing viruses, here's what you need to do.


Your Browser

First off, everyone who is using Internet Explorer needs to be using Firefox. Go to their website and download it for free (will open in a new window - do it NOW). IE is more susceptible to these issues. Period.

Once Firefox is installed, go to Tools > Options > Privacy and make sure Clear History when Firefox Closes is checked. Click the Settings... button next to it and make sure it clears everything. Then, every time you close your browser, you're getting rid of junk.


The Shield

And here's where I tell you to download the cleaning software. Don't worry; it's all free (save 1 optional). And you don't need ALL of them. Try the first couple and if you still have issues, keep going. Click on the name to go to that site - all open in a different window.

CCleaner - cleans out the temporary files and cookies cached on your system. It scans your registry. You should run this at the end of every day.

Window Washer - This does what CCleaner does, but a little more thoroughly. It's my personal fav and the only program you would have to buy that I'm listing. It can erase data with an overwrite standard of the NSA. I like it; you don't have to buy it. CCleaner does what 99% of you need to do.

Malwarebytes - scans for some of the more dangerous items, called "malware" that can be part of downloads and might be programmed to do your computer some damage. If your computer has them, it'll root them out.

Ad-Aware - Classic standby to keep the pop-ups at bay. This hits the cookies as well, but tends to be best to root out the bad stuff you might pick up by clicking (or even viewing) advertising.

A-Squared - This is the program that saved my computer. Granted, it was because the virus's database did not include that program as a Stop, but it's especially good at rooting out trojan horse viruses. And killing them dead.

HijackThis - This program will run a scan on your whole running system if you have a problem. The only issue I have posting it is it's not DIY for amateurs. You'll have to go to the website forum, post the result, and get an answer. Granted, the folks there are awesome and responsive. Just wanted to alert anyone to the extra step (especially if they're dealing with a dead internet connection).


That Virus Thing

You should also have ONE anti-virus program running (multiples can cancel each other out or even fight for dominance). These run all the time and check out incoming items as they're saved or opened. The best free I've found - and both are excellent - have been:

AVG

Avira AntiVir


Now go get those programs and clean up your stuff! If you've had your computer for more than 4 months, you should probably also Defragment your hard drive, but that's a completely different post.

Be with you soon about that.


As always, comments welcome, especially from anyone who has different/better programs to pass on to my readers. Much appreciated!

Candid: The Loki Keyboard that Bit Me

In Norse Mythology, Loki is the troublemaker, the gadfly, the instigator (in case you needed that reference).



And in day to day reality, I am a fallible tech geek. Some folks who blog - especially those that have a business - hold themselves at a must-be-godlike standard. I understand, however, that occasionally exposing my flaws makes me more human, and we can all do with a little more human in our day to day interactions. It doesn't happen often, so enjoy the story:

Ghost in the Machine

About a month ago, I noticed that I was having some keyboard issues on my workhorse laptop. Specifically, on occasion, when I was trying to do anything from advance between the regular cavalcade of almost a dozen working applications to simply keeping a cursor in a web form, it wasn't working. Things were popping up or shifting fields as though there was a sticking problem in either my ALT or CTRL or TAB keys - or all three.

I would do anything from reboot to pound on the ALT key to scream and invoke Thor to take down this Loki in the machine. (Hey, when you're hand-coding and can't get a "<" out to start an anchor tag, things get a little crazy in the room.) I once did a Trojan scour, found one and thought it was all good - for about 30 minutes. And sometimes it worked, sometimes it faded for a time, sometimes it sent me to the Xbox360 demo of Bayonetta to do some virtual killing of demons with gun-shoes.

Yes, this has been going on for a month. I'd done some rudimentary searches for MS bugs on Vista, but only came up with a few minor operational errors that appeared rare. Bad thing was, when I was hard-up for a solution, I couldn't do a decent search because my keyboard didn't work.

Threshold | Epiphany

And this morning it hit a threshold: waking after a restless night, not yet enough coffee in me, the bug came at me with the first touch of the keyboard. I could send an email with the mouse, but couldn't type the contents; the pressing of buttons resulted in the on/of switch that is CTRL+Space, which takes my English letter combinations and translates them into a selectable tooltip for Asian characters. Basically, I could get absolutely nothing done.

I got another cup of coffee, took a few deep breaths, and - suddenly - it struck me. Not any more monumental than any other epiphany as I was holding back hope for disappointment, but there it was:

Redemption

With my graphics background on a Quantel Paintbox (pen & board), I have much greater preference for a mouse over the horrible touchpad that is on most laptops. About 6 months ago, I clicked-out my first, wired mouse and switched to a wireless Microsoft one I had previously purchased for my wife. It was a simple setup of a USB plug-in to a wireless receiver to accept input from the mouse ...and paired keyboard.

So, what if...? I went to the storage closet about 20 feet behind my desk, opened it up, and found said keyboard - sitting underneath a box of paperwork. I moved the keyboard to a higher shelf with nothing on top of it.

Guess what? No boxy, no pressy, no Loki.

Without pressure on what I thought was a do-nothing keyboard, the problem stopped: I'd been fighting with a keyboard in the closet with a box on it that was resting on the TAB, SHIFT, CTRL, ALT, and Space keys.


So what's the lesson here? Humanity, by definition, is fallible. Tech-savvy people, by definition, are fallible. And no matter how perplexing and unresolvable the problem you face, you may be surprised by the simplicity of the solution. Just pick up the box that's weighing you down.